Day 9

I have been so busy the last couple of days and I just haven't had the time to come on here so I am going to squish Sunday, Monday and today into one message. I did my first low carb day yesterday (Monday) as I went to a bridal shower on Sunday. I knew what the 'menu' was going to be to some extent. We were in a restaurant and we had a breakfast buffet. This is the first time ever that I have actually made special requests regarding meal items. I had scrambled eggs (no milk), 100% rye toast with butter, a piece of bacon, a fruit cup and peppermint tea. I passed on the banana pancakes, french toast (my fav), freshly made chocolate chip banana bread and orange juice (don't know if it was sugar free or not so...). Then the bride-to-be (my future sister-in-law)'s sister brought out a cake. I figured with all of the sacrificing I was doing I could at least get the cake put in a to-go container and it is now sitting in my freezer waiting for the day that I can have it. Not bad for me. The toast, by the way, was the first bread that I had had at all since starting ED and is obviously the only time still.

Saturday and Sunday nights I hosted karaoke shows with my husband and managed to do the water only thing all night. Very easy to get all your water needs in when you are singing all night and can't drink anything else. ;)

I had a really hard time working myself up to the new workouts... for some reason I underestimate myself with everything and just assume that I am not going to be able to do it. That is what makes me a procrastinator. It's not that the motivation isn't there but it's the fear that if I try I will disappoint myself. That being said, when I started the meltdown I was pleasantly surprised at how much I COULD do. Same thing when I did the pyramid. I only got up the one side so far but when I looked at 10 pushups I though 'after all the dips and other pushups and presses, I'm not going to be able to do that...' but I did! So, if I learn anything from this 30 days it is that I DO have the ability to persevere, I CAN live without bread and crappy food and coffee, and I SHOULD NOT underestimate myself. And all three of those things are VERY big for me.

And I keep reminding myself that even if I don't get as far as I would like with any of the workouts, I am still doing more than I was 10 days ago and that's what I think EVERYONE should take away from this.

Not much has happened with the scale still but mentally I am feeling awesome and so motivated not only for this but many other things in life! Thank you so much, Dax!